This page went much smoother than the first, I had little corrections to the first draft.

I like the size of the panels I used in this one as they seem much more balanced to the page and because they are shorter and wider seem more like a storyboard or filmic?

The things I don't like too much about the page are the way the story flows, it jumps from one scene to another with little in-between and as a result feels a little disconnected from the pages narration as a whole.